As another birthday comes closer and closer, I begin to think, “Shit, I’m going to die soon.” Yes, to most I may still be a youngling, but hey, I don’t have “good genes” or “ideal health”. I look around and see the elderly taking the leap into the unknown, and yet, I am not afraid. I do not personally think there is a reason to fear death. Even if my personal death comes painful, it all has to come to end sometime. In the book “Tough Sh*t” by my long time hero, Kevin Smith, he wrote, “…even good men die screaming…” and I must say, that one sentence changed my life forever.
Now I’m not saying to live a life where you raise total hell and take no prisoners in a bad perspective. What I am saying is don’t just live life but LIVE life, aka, the difference between growing UP and growing OLD.
I don’t mind my metabolism going to hell and getting a belly that goes over my belt, or my hair falling out, or my skin wrinkling around the wrist, or not being able to wear boxers with shorts in fear of indecent exposure because my genitals hang too low (like the scene from jackass). It’s perfectly fine taking pills 19 times a day and having to sit down in a shower because “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
But I’ll be damned the day I walk by a vacant swing set and don’t sit my fat, bald, wrinkly ass down and enjoy the view come and go as I go up and down on one of the sweetest childhood memories EVERYONE has. I’ll be damned the day a little girl walks up to me and I’m “too old” to “answer a ringing toy phone” she hands me. I’ll be damned the day I grab the Cheerios for “heart health” instead of grabbing the box of Fruity Pebbles cause they just taste good. I’ll be damned the day I skip through the cartoon section of the TV guide. And you bet your sweet ass that I’ll be damned the day that I say, “No thanks, I’ve had enough Cheetos”.
Life is not all about the big picture. In the long run, yes because it is about the career and family and what have you, but when is the last time you thought about today? Just enjoyed the little things? Keep the little kid inside of you and never let it go. You have to grow up to a certain extent of course, you have to get a job and so on to survive this world, but who said you can’t still stick some chips in your PBJ at lunch? If someone says anything, just feel bad for them, because they are already dead inside fighting to stay alive.
What The Voices Tell Me To Say 