The Thirty Minute Thought

Many men can agree to the terms of what I say today. Even though men agree, today, I am talking to the women readers. So ladies, my question to you; does your man, or a man you know, spend a long time (say thirty minutes) in the bathroom while pooping? I’ll bet you do. I know why he does and after today, you will too.

 

I know because I am one of those guys. Especially while being in a relationship, or being in a hectic place, I will spend a good half-hour on the throne. I’ll read, play games on my phone, anything really. Mostly though, I will enjoy the peace and quiet. I’ll sit there and think, ponder life, just enjoy the fact that I can have some quality ME time before stepping back onto the battlefield.

 

The one thing you can do is simply not pester us the entire time. “Are you done yet?” “What are you doing in there?” “Why can’t you just come spend time with me?”

 

Why can’t I just have some time to myself? Why do I have to constantly be around you? Why can’t I have a hot minute alone to think my own thoughts? What if I like the atmosphere in here? Can’t you just give me some time without giving me the third degree?

 

It’s not hard ladies. Us men are simple creatures and sometimes we just need a little space to get some thoughts out. If barricading ourselves in the bathroom for an amount of time is the only way we can get that space, then so be it. We aren’t harming anyone, doing anything wrong. We are just winding down, getting some alone time and having some space to think. Give us that time to do those things. 

Fandom Friday – Toaster Strudel

Welcome to Fandom Friday, where I talk about something or someone that I like and why you should too. This week I will be writing about Toaster Strudel.

 

I know you’re probably thinking that everyone loves Toaster Strudel. Well, when was the last time you actually bought a box of goodness? I, personally, buy the big pack of them weekly at Sam’s Club (Wal-Mart’s sister store where fat people buy in bulk, like me).

 

For those of you uneducated folk, a Toaster Strudel is a fruit pastry (predominantly) that you cover in what is pretty much just a sugar serum and let me tell you, they are fantastic. It’s like childhood in a box. So why doesn’t everyone buy them all the time? Well, I did think of a couple downfalls.

 

First off, they’re like $9,000.00 USD for a box of six (exaggeration of course). Next, they don’t fill you up, so you eat that expensive box all at once. Finally, you get third degree burns taking them out of the toaster (which I don’t know why we don’t have advanced technology on fixing this issue yet).

 

Other than that, these babies are glorious. They’re like freedom in your mouth, independence dancing on your taste buds, just like Football on Thanksgiving. Eating a Toaster Strudel is like regaining your childhood and going down your first slide all over again, playing hide and seek in the washer/dryer and playing in the middle of the street without worrying about getting hit or kidnapped as long as you were inside when the street lights came on.

 

With that being said, Toaster Strudel is worth the price you pay at the register, and it’s certainly worth the bloating and burning at home. Why are they not flying off the shelves more, especially with the legalization of marijuana in some places? Communists, that’s why. Damn communists.