What is Reality?

Nowadays, everyone seems to be trying to escape something. Most of the time, it’s the simple fact that they are trying to escape reality. Let me tell you, it’s near impossible to do and it’s not really worth it.

 

You can’t really fully ESCAPE reality. It will always come from behind you and bite you in the ass. You can temporarily, but still, is it worth it? Yeah, sometimes, depending on how you do it and what you do/how you see escaping it. But at the same time, you always come back to reality. So is it worth a temporary escape? Or should I bring up the big question of, “What is Reality?”

 

If every now and then, you go out and drink with friends, that’s fine, as long as you don’t become an alcoholic. Or if you do some light drug like marijuana from time to time, again, just don’t get that mental addiction that you always need weed to get away because reality sucks.

 

But what IS reality? What is real? Reality, I believe, is what you make it. It’s all about perception and how you take things. If you see things as bad, then to you, the reality of it is bad. Vice versa, if you see it as good, the reality is good. Isn’t that perception? So, to sum that up, reality is how you perceive it to be.

 

So why can’t everything always be taken with a grain of salt and reality is just good? What if you were to take bad situations, see the good in them, and make everything positive in some light? Doesn’t that change how you feel, and maybe then, you won’t want to always escape.

 

Oh that’s right. It’s called happiness.

 

Now I’m not saying to never go out and have a good time with friends, because well, sometimes it’s a nice change. But if you don’t have to resort to being under the influence to have a good time, then why do it ALL the time? Are you trying to impress people?

 

WHO GIVES A DAMN WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK!!

 

It’s your life; it’s your perception. Your reality of life could be totally different and be good. Why surround yourself with people who are negative all the time, or even at all? If you can just shift your mind that you want happiness and inner peace at all times, why get around downers? There is NO good reason to do so.

 

If you don’t like how something is unfolding, change YOUR vision. See the brighter side of life. It’s YOUR perception. If you hate where you’re at in life, change it! It’s YOUR reality. If your heart gets broken, it’s because you let it, it’s YOUR perception. If you are getting angry, that’s YOUR reality telling you that something is angering you.

 

So what IS reality? To sum it all up, it’s what YOU believe to be real. YOU control yourself and how you feel/see things at all times, so why not make life positive? Reality is what YOU make it, only YOU determine YOUR perception of things.

 

Only YOU control YOU. Be the best YOU, that YOU can be. Be someone that YOU are proud of. Stand tall because YOU hold your own perception of YOUR reality. Be who YOU WANT to be. 

Manic Monday – Volume V

CRIPPITY CRAP, IT’S MANIC MONDAY!! That’s right, it’s the worst day of the week for most people so I enlighten the mood by telling you some of the crazy shit that went on in my head this week and actually remembered to write it down for your enjoyment! Buckle up you literate reader because chances are, even I have no idea what’s about to be published!!

 

If you are a hiring manager at a job, I have some advice for you. I have noticed that everyone wants experience, but people need to start somewhere. The people with no formal training or experience will always work harder for you. They are there to learn and work hard, they are humble about the job and also determined to show you that they were hired for a reason. If you hire the person who has experience, they are cocky about their past training and think they know it all already. So my advice is to give the underdog a shot, I know he will not disappoint you.

 

I know a lot of people take a lot of things for granted, or even people for that matter. The sad fact about that; you don’t know what you have ‘til it’s gone. If it’s objects that you take for granted, you got those things for a reason at one point, why not keep using it? If it’s a person, this argument could go either way. Sometimes you have to cut the bad fruit out of your life in order to be happy and live a mentally healthy life. But there are times when there is no reason to stop talking to people. It’s like graduating from high school; some people are meant to stick around, some were just there for you a little in school. You need to make some people leave to find that they did you no good other than cause stress, but there are some people that you don’t want to take for granted. Sometimes you find good friends in people that you don’t expect even. You just need to read the best vibe you can from people and see if they are going to do you any good in the long run. If not, cut them loose, but if so, hold on tight.

 

If you are one of the people that likes to be in a relationship, when was the last time you examined your relationship to see how healthy it is? There are a lot of factors that go into relationships that make them unhealthy that most people do not know about. One thing that burned my ass from a previous relationship was that I had no privacy; no space. If I was on the phone, I had to explain who I was on the phone with. If I wanted to go to the bathroom, I had to always tell her where I was going. And back to the privacy part, each person needs to have a small separate life from each other. Nothing like another boyfriend/girlfriend, or drug dealer, or homicidal maniac; just some privacy. For example, I have a small notebook that I carry for ideas and creativity, also used as a journal if I need to vent and I’m not in Wi-Fi to post to this here blog.  Well I caught her (the girl from the same relationship) numerous times, reading my notebook because she didn’t trust me or whatever her excuse was each time. Yet, if I wanted to get back at her and threatened with going to go through her Facebook, she would throw a fit because that’s her private stuff. Does that make sense? I’m only talking to myself in my creative journal (and it’s about topics I can use for creative projects) so it’s okay to go through? All I’m saying is that if you can’t trust each other, what’s the point? Beyond that, if each person can’t have their own private life (like a NOTEBOOK), it’s time to end the relationship. (Can you start to see why I hate relationships so much? I’m jaded on them, what can I say.)

The Thirty Minute Thought

Many men can agree to the terms of what I say today. Even though men agree, today, I am talking to the women readers. So ladies, my question to you; does your man, or a man you know, spend a long time (say thirty minutes) in the bathroom while pooping? I’ll bet you do. I know why he does and after today, you will too.

 

I know because I am one of those guys. Especially while being in a relationship, or being in a hectic place, I will spend a good half-hour on the throne. I’ll read, play games on my phone, anything really. Mostly though, I will enjoy the peace and quiet. I’ll sit there and think, ponder life, just enjoy the fact that I can have some quality ME time before stepping back onto the battlefield.

 

The one thing you can do is simply not pester us the entire time. “Are you done yet?” “What are you doing in there?” “Why can’t you just come spend time with me?”

 

Why can’t I just have some time to myself? Why do I have to constantly be around you? Why can’t I have a hot minute alone to think my own thoughts? What if I like the atmosphere in here? Can’t you just give me some time without giving me the third degree?

 

It’s not hard ladies. Us men are simple creatures and sometimes we just need a little space to get some thoughts out. If barricading ourselves in the bathroom for an amount of time is the only way we can get that space, then so be it. We aren’t harming anyone, doing anything wrong. We are just winding down, getting some alone time and having some space to think. Give us that time to do those things. 

Manic Monday – Volume III

CRIPPITY CRAP, IT’S MANIC MONDAY!! That’s right, it’s the worst day of the week for most people so I enlighten the mood by telling you some of the crazy shit that went on in my head this week and actually remembered to write it down for your enjoyment! Buckle up you literate reader because chances are, even I have no idea what’s about to be published!!

 

First of all, I would like to begin by painting a picture. One that everyone knows because we have all seen. Imagine driving, or riding in a car and passing by a hitchhiker. A real homeless person or someone who is just trying to get a ride somewhere else. A person on the side of the road with a bag or two but nothing much with their thumb up, kind of dirty looking. You know the person who looks like if you stop, they are going to murder you. Okay, now that you have that visual, we can proceed. Let me ask you this: what does it mean to truly have nothing and/or no one? Even that hitchhiker has some stuff, hell, even bums in big cities have some things. Yet, they all claim they have nothing… So what does it truly mean to have NOTHING? Do they mean they have no purpose? Maybe they are just searching for a purpose and that’s what landed them on the streets and it wasn’t drugs/alcohol. If so, sign me up! I’m still unsure on a lot of days and I do not have narcotic problems, maybe I need to live on the streets. Does that mean that I have nothing? Fuck I don’t know.

 

Which brings me to my next point. We have touched on this in previous posts (The White Picket Fence). We all feel the need to buy materialistic goods to make us feel good. Now I understand that every now and then that doing so is okay to gradually just have nice things to have a nice place to come home to, but I feel living like a minimalist is the way to go. What point do you have to prove to people? “Look at all my shit!” Oh man, you’re so cool!! No, no you’re not, you’re an idiot who could have went somewhere and did something or gave some money to someone who could have used that money to go somewhere to really find themselves and their niche in this world, but instead you had to buy a worthless thing that you have no use for. Now your place is more crowded and feels less home-like because you’re a fucking imbecile. Moving right along…

 

The art of moving on with life. This can be taken in so many ways; it makes me even crazier than I already am. It applies to relationships, jobs, money, belongings, pets, vehicles, etc., etc., etc. all the way down the list of life’s shit. If you need to cut ties with something to be truly happy for either party, do the right thing and just end it already. Believe me, it’s harder said than done sometimes and I need practice myself with this. However, at least I am working on it. I see people day in and day out that are so miserable in life because they put up with the same SHIT that they despise. Cut your losses, cut your ties, set yourself free. Even if you are setting the other party free, you will feel better too (yes, it will hurt for a hot minute, but in the long run, it will feel even better).

 

That leads me to this, which I have brought up numerous times but it’s because it is something that I struggle with all the time. What is the point of relationships (especially at a young age)? Is it for companionship? Get a fucking dog, at least they are happy to see you. Is it to get your jollies off? Jerk it and twerk it, get social and find a one nighter because there is always someone who wants the same thing. Repopulate? Okay, there you have me pinned. Then get in a relationship… Maybe. People, and a lot of people at that, do it as single parents all the time. Adopt, or surrogate, or get creative and find a way (within the law of course). I just don’t understand the point of being in a relationship. Maybe I haven’t found my one and locked her in, shit I don’t know. Maybe I have found her and lost her, again, I do not know. The one thing I DO know, I am very done with relationships longer than like a week. They cause too much stress, too much crap, it’s too much work, too much money, way too much drama that I just do not want or need. I just don’t get the point.

 

Anyway, I’ll call that good for the week, even though this week has been crazy as balls. That last part got me a little ramped up though (that’s when you know you’re crazy, your own writing gets you ramped even though you think about it all the time). So, instead of turning Manic Monday into Why Relationships Should Die, I’ll just go drink some more coffee and leave you with this (if I were to recommend a coffee by the way, go with Gevalia Espresso Roast- Black, because black is better, if you need all the creamer and shit, why do you drink coffee, drink a red bull or something, seriously. The point of coffee is to drink that shit black, coffee shouldn’t be sweet unless it’s like a treat from Starbucks, and that’s supposed to be a TREAT not like a daily thing.) Anyway, I’ll leave you with this; Carpe Diem Creando. It means “Sieze The Day By Creating”. Whether you take it as creating like creating a piece of art, creating as in writing, or simply creating a better life by getting a raise, promotion, new job, etc. just create. That is all. 

Relationship Pondering

I personally do not understand how two people can be married for years and years and years. Hell, I don’t understand how simple boyfriend/girlfriend relationships can last for years. When a couple is together for years, I have to say, “Wow, congratulations. You guys are able to put up with each other’s shit for a long time. “

I’m THAT guy: the guy that gets bored way too quickly, way too easily. I stay in relationships and get in them often and yet, I don’t like them. I’m not sure as to why I even get in them (maybe a sense of comfort of having someone), but I do and I always regret it because I am the pushover that it takes a while to get out of them when I am unhappy.

Anyway, the point I am getting to with this; how can people really settle down and take on the full time job on top of trying to live the life of their own? I understand, that you found someone that makes you really happy and you want to live your life with them, but is that really enough? There will always be arguments and shit storms in the air. If you were flying solo, there isn’t anything. It’s just you have to worry about and possibly friends or business partners that you include.

It might just be me, but I don’t understand the whole marriage aspect of life. I don’t get the point of marriage, and I am really starting to doubt the point of relationships as well. They bring companionship, but so does my dog. They bring sex, but so does my hand. They bring fun, but so does going on random dates every now and then without getting serious or even getting in any sort of relationship at all. Just leave it at one date so you are still social; feel and appear normal.

But hey, just the opinion of a bat-shit crazy guy, right?

Uh-Duh?

I know I am not alone when I say I have dated someone who is just flat out dumb. That’s not me being conceited or anything of the sort, it’s just a hard fact. I can not be the only person who has woke up next to some one and had to ask, “How do you remember how to breathe?”

 

Oh yeah, don’t worry, I am actually going somewhere with this.

 

It’s the little things that add up to make me believe this. Between the little things and all of the big things, I sit back and ponder, “How has natural selection not weeded you out of the population yet?” Like, did Darwin’s theory die years ago and scientists just not tell the general public about it? How the hell are you still functioning and remembering that you have to eat and drink fluids to live, yet you cant remember to put you car in park to take the keys out of the ignition? How do you still exist when you ask the stupidest questions that even a six-year-old shoots you the look of “WTF” is wrong with you?

 

Then I start pondering where my life went wrong, what is so wrong with me that I decided you were the one I wanted to be with. I feel like I have to remind you to loop, swoop, and pull when I’m watching you put your shoes on and I start having flashbacks of everything slightly bad that I have ever done thinking MAYBE you are the best I am ever going to do because I didn’t help that old lady out to her car years ago when I was 19.

 

Yes, you may have a great personality, but you are just… how do I say this… DUMB AS HELL. Ditzy. Stupid. You don’t think about shit.

 

Anyway, I said I was going somewhere with this and I actually am believe it or not.

 

This is another thing that is constantly going on in society that I am sick and fucking tired of. People (not only females in specific, just from my own research and polls it’s PREDOMINANTLY females but I do encourage you to prove me wrong) think it’s fucking cute to be stupid. HOW THE HELL IS THAT SHIT CUTE?! It’s annoying. Unless you are two dumbasses together, it’s NOT cute, it’s NOT adorable, it’s NOT attractive, it’s NOT something we want you to fucking laugh about after you say something dumb as shit. We want you to have an IQ above “DUH”!

 

“Oh shit dude, you’re girlfriend’s drooling again.”

 

“Hey Julia, your boyfriend is going cross eyed and trying to lick his foot again.”

 

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS ATTRACTIVE?!

 

After you say something that is totally dumb, stupid, idiotic, whatever you want to call it, STOP LAUGHING ABOUT IT!! Being a complete moron is not a turn on!! Intelligence and the ability to hold yourself as a composed human being, THAT is attractive. Those are qualities people want in relationships.

“Her” Big Day

One of the big topics that gets me in trouble in relationships is marriage. I don’t see the point of marriage. I believe that if two people are truly in love, there is a “code”; don’t cheat, don’t lie, do nice things, provide for the family, etc. and that “marriage” is only a legal document that says you love each other to the government. It LEGALLY says you love each other and that if you are to ever fall out of love, you are to pay a bunch of money to escape the grasps of that document binding you together, legally. I don’t think you need a piece of paper to say how much you love each other. A couple can be together 75+ years (or whatever) and still be just as happy as a couple that has been legally married the same amount of time.

But that’s not the point of this post.

My problem is the day of said wedding and what the meaning has come down to. With people who are close to me getting ready to wed, all I hear is everyone talking to the bride about it being “HER” day. It’s all about HER. HER day.

IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT HER!!!!!

Okay women of the world, swallow your pride, and buckle up for a roller coaster of emotions and truth because shit is about to get real on my blog. I understand that I am not an “accomplished” blogger yet and I should be making an audience before attacking society, but society needs a reality check.

A wedding day is about the wedding. A wedding is about TWO people being married. Not about a woman looking beautiful in a big dress surrounded by loved ones. She has a man standing up there as well, and ladies, without him up there, THIS WHOLE WEDDING, THIS WHOLE DAMN DAY, WOULD NOT EVEN BE POSSIBLE! The wedding is not all about you, the bride. It’s not all about the color pattern. Just because the man (usually) does not care what kind of plates he eats on for the rest of his life, does not mean the wedding is not about him. The man is typically the one who made this day possible, he is usually the one who proposed, if it were not for the man, then bitch – YOU WOULD NEVER BE GETTING MARRIED TO ANYONE! YOU WOULD DIE ALONE! Let that sink in for a minute.

Next time you are thinking of a wedding, thank the damn groom. He made that shit possible. Yes, typically, the bride is the one who was fantasizing about it since she was little. However, the groom made it a reality. He is a fucking superhero as far as I’m concerned.

This goes for same-sex marriage too. I support it. I have homosexual family, and back when I had friends, at least 85% of them were gay too. They are just nice people who deserve the support, but I’ll go into that in a different post.

Women, no offense was intended in this post. I have been, however, offended as a man recently hearing that the wedding is all about the lady in the gorgeous white dress. It’s about the two people getting married and the love they share. My advice, make the wedding about the TWO of you. Or my personal advice, use that money, instead, to take a long vacation and don’t sign the dotted line. Just stay in love and use your heads. Don’t do anything stupid that you know the other person wouldn’t like (Act married, but don’t get married).