Relationship Pondering

I personally do not understand how two people can be married for years and years and years. Hell, I don’t understand how simple boyfriend/girlfriend relationships can last for years. When a couple is together for years, I have to say, “Wow, congratulations. You guys are able to put up with each other’s shit for a long time. “

I’m THAT guy: the guy that gets bored way too quickly, way too easily. I stay in relationships and get in them often and yet, I don’t like them. I’m not sure as to why I even get in them (maybe a sense of comfort of having someone), but I do and I always regret it because I am the pushover that it takes a while to get out of them when I am unhappy.

Anyway, the point I am getting to with this; how can people really settle down and take on the full time job on top of trying to live the life of their own? I understand, that you found someone that makes you really happy and you want to live your life with them, but is that really enough? There will always be arguments and shit storms in the air. If you were flying solo, there isn’t anything. It’s just you have to worry about and possibly friends or business partners that you include.

It might just be me, but I don’t understand the whole marriage aspect of life. I don’t get the point of marriage, and I am really starting to doubt the point of relationships as well. They bring companionship, but so does my dog. They bring sex, but so does my hand. They bring fun, but so does going on random dates every now and then without getting serious or even getting in any sort of relationship at all. Just leave it at one date so you are still social; feel and appear normal.

But hey, just the opinion of a bat-shit crazy guy, right?

Uh-Duh?

I know I am not alone when I say I have dated someone who is just flat out dumb. That’s not me being conceited or anything of the sort, it’s just a hard fact. I can not be the only person who has woke up next to some one and had to ask, “How do you remember how to breathe?”

 

Oh yeah, don’t worry, I am actually going somewhere with this.

 

It’s the little things that add up to make me believe this. Between the little things and all of the big things, I sit back and ponder, “How has natural selection not weeded you out of the population yet?” Like, did Darwin’s theory die years ago and scientists just not tell the general public about it? How the hell are you still functioning and remembering that you have to eat and drink fluids to live, yet you cant remember to put you car in park to take the keys out of the ignition? How do you still exist when you ask the stupidest questions that even a six-year-old shoots you the look of “WTF” is wrong with you?

 

Then I start pondering where my life went wrong, what is so wrong with me that I decided you were the one I wanted to be with. I feel like I have to remind you to loop, swoop, and pull when I’m watching you put your shoes on and I start having flashbacks of everything slightly bad that I have ever done thinking MAYBE you are the best I am ever going to do because I didn’t help that old lady out to her car years ago when I was 19.

 

Yes, you may have a great personality, but you are just… how do I say this… DUMB AS HELL. Ditzy. Stupid. You don’t think about shit.

 

Anyway, I said I was going somewhere with this and I actually am believe it or not.

 

This is another thing that is constantly going on in society that I am sick and fucking tired of. People (not only females in specific, just from my own research and polls it’s PREDOMINANTLY females but I do encourage you to prove me wrong) think it’s fucking cute to be stupid. HOW THE HELL IS THAT SHIT CUTE?! It’s annoying. Unless you are two dumbasses together, it’s NOT cute, it’s NOT adorable, it’s NOT attractive, it’s NOT something we want you to fucking laugh about after you say something dumb as shit. We want you to have an IQ above “DUH”!

 

“Oh shit dude, you’re girlfriend’s drooling again.”

 

“Hey Julia, your boyfriend is going cross eyed and trying to lick his foot again.”

 

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS ATTRACTIVE?!

 

After you say something that is totally dumb, stupid, idiotic, whatever you want to call it, STOP LAUGHING ABOUT IT!! Being a complete moron is not a turn on!! Intelligence and the ability to hold yourself as a composed human being, THAT is attractive. Those are qualities people want in relationships.