Relationship Pondering

I personally do not understand how two people can be married for years and years and years. Hell, I don’t understand how simple boyfriend/girlfriend relationships can last for years. When a couple is together for years, I have to say, “Wow, congratulations. You guys are able to put up with each other’s shit for a long time. “

I’m THAT guy: the guy that gets bored way too quickly, way too easily. I stay in relationships and get in them often and yet, I don’t like them. I’m not sure as to why I even get in them (maybe a sense of comfort of having someone), but I do and I always regret it because I am the pushover that it takes a while to get out of them when I am unhappy.

Anyway, the point I am getting to with this; how can people really settle down and take on the full time job on top of trying to live the life of their own? I understand, that you found someone that makes you really happy and you want to live your life with them, but is that really enough? There will always be arguments and shit storms in the air. If you were flying solo, there isn’t anything. It’s just you have to worry about and possibly friends or business partners that you include.

It might just be me, but I don’t understand the whole marriage aspect of life. I don’t get the point of marriage, and I am really starting to doubt the point of relationships as well. They bring companionship, but so does my dog. They bring sex, but so does my hand. They bring fun, but so does going on random dates every now and then without getting serious or even getting in any sort of relationship at all. Just leave it at one date so you are still social; feel and appear normal.

But hey, just the opinion of a bat-shit crazy guy, right?

My Bi-Curiosity

For as long as I can remember, I have always been the subject of the “gay” jokes within my family (yes, I did say family. I do not really have many friends, so eat me). I dress nice, I grew up in a theater department, and as they would say on Friends: I have a “quality”. Though I am not a homosexual, nor do I see anything wrong with their lifestyle (which probably does not help my case, in all retrospect), it’s difficult keeping your composure when people, who are supposed to support you, are always harassing you. Then again, I like the attention.

 

What I do want to know, since when does style mean that you’re a homosexual? Can’t a man dress nice or as I would call “fabulous” without all these crazy accusations? Or just because you are a self-proclaimed badass actor, you enjoy sexual relations with someone of the same gender? Or that just because I can look at a guy and say, “Damn, you are HOT” that I’m gay? I’M KIDDING! I would never call another male hot, only cute (though I have told another man that he has very soft eyes). I mean, I can tell if another man is attractive or not, but I think that is because I have homosexual people in my life that I associate with and after being around them for a while, you pick up on that kind of stuff. Yeah, I’m not gay, or does that make me gay because I had to second guess myself? No, no it doesn’t (wow this makes me sound crazy).

 

I do support gay marriage though. I firmly believe that if they would like to take that cliff dive into the shallow end of an empty kid pool and be as miserable as heterosexual couples, who cares? A local underground stand up comedian once said, “It’s like second hand smoke. Just don’t blow it in my face.” Is there a better motto for equality than that? No, there simply is not (but the same goes for everyone and everything, ranging from religion to your favorite color, keep that shit to yourself). Seriously though, if they want to go through the same judicial crap, sign the same papers, pay the same astronomical amount of money, have the same sappy ceremony, and invite the people who do support it… Who cares? If you don’t support the decision they are making to be married, then don’t go! It’s that simple! Hell, if they know you don’t support them, you probably won’t even get an invite. If you do, it’s probably because they hate you. In your face you bigot.

 

If they are putting more money back into circulation to help us get out of this multi- trillion-dollar debt we are nationally in and help the economy, why wouldn’t you support it? It’s not like they are trying to be able to mate on public streets. If they do that, they will be in jail just like you. Even if they did that, well it’s dinner and a show, am I right?  

 

So why am I being put in this category of bigotry at family reunions and functions? My whole family, as far as I know, supports equality as it is, but why am I being pushed from the solo sad corner where I weep and quietly eat my food by myself and get shoved into the spotlight of “Hey everyone, look how great Eric looks! Let’s all talk about how he likes men!” Does that make sense? I usually enjoy being the center of attention, but to be ridiculed and made fun of because of your opinion? Now that’s just being rude. Let me live my high fashion, self-centered life of uppity choices and self-worth that I now question with myself thanks to this post (not really). This is the reason family sucks. Screw you all.

“Her” Big Day

One of the big topics that gets me in trouble in relationships is marriage. I don’t see the point of marriage. I believe that if two people are truly in love, there is a “code”; don’t cheat, don’t lie, do nice things, provide for the family, etc. and that “marriage” is only a legal document that says you love each other to the government. It LEGALLY says you love each other and that if you are to ever fall out of love, you are to pay a bunch of money to escape the grasps of that document binding you together, legally. I don’t think you need a piece of paper to say how much you love each other. A couple can be together 75+ years (or whatever) and still be just as happy as a couple that has been legally married the same amount of time.

But that’s not the point of this post.

My problem is the day of said wedding and what the meaning has come down to. With people who are close to me getting ready to wed, all I hear is everyone talking to the bride about it being “HER” day. It’s all about HER. HER day.

IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT HER!!!!!

Okay women of the world, swallow your pride, and buckle up for a roller coaster of emotions and truth because shit is about to get real on my blog. I understand that I am not an “accomplished” blogger yet and I should be making an audience before attacking society, but society needs a reality check.

A wedding day is about the wedding. A wedding is about TWO people being married. Not about a woman looking beautiful in a big dress surrounded by loved ones. She has a man standing up there as well, and ladies, without him up there, THIS WHOLE WEDDING, THIS WHOLE DAMN DAY, WOULD NOT EVEN BE POSSIBLE! The wedding is not all about you, the bride. It’s not all about the color pattern. Just because the man (usually) does not care what kind of plates he eats on for the rest of his life, does not mean the wedding is not about him. The man is typically the one who made this day possible, he is usually the one who proposed, if it were not for the man, then bitch – YOU WOULD NEVER BE GETTING MARRIED TO ANYONE! YOU WOULD DIE ALONE! Let that sink in for a minute.

Next time you are thinking of a wedding, thank the damn groom. He made that shit possible. Yes, typically, the bride is the one who was fantasizing about it since she was little. However, the groom made it a reality. He is a fucking superhero as far as I’m concerned.

This goes for same-sex marriage too. I support it. I have homosexual family, and back when I had friends, at least 85% of them were gay too. They are just nice people who deserve the support, but I’ll go into that in a different post.

Women, no offense was intended in this post. I have been, however, offended as a man recently hearing that the wedding is all about the lady in the gorgeous white dress. It’s about the two people getting married and the love they share. My advice, make the wedding about the TWO of you. Or my personal advice, use that money, instead, to take a long vacation and don’t sign the dotted line. Just stay in love and use your heads. Don’t do anything stupid that you know the other person wouldn’t like (Act married, but don’t get married).