Manic Monday – Volume III

CRIPPITY CRAP, IT’S MANIC MONDAY!! That’s right, it’s the worst day of the week for most people so I enlighten the mood by telling you some of the crazy shit that went on in my head this week and actually remembered to write it down for your enjoyment! Buckle up you literate reader because chances are, even I have no idea what’s about to be published!!

 

First of all, I would like to begin by painting a picture. One that everyone knows because we have all seen. Imagine driving, or riding in a car and passing by a hitchhiker. A real homeless person or someone who is just trying to get a ride somewhere else. A person on the side of the road with a bag or two but nothing much with their thumb up, kind of dirty looking. You know the person who looks like if you stop, they are going to murder you. Okay, now that you have that visual, we can proceed. Let me ask you this: what does it mean to truly have nothing and/or no one? Even that hitchhiker has some stuff, hell, even bums in big cities have some things. Yet, they all claim they have nothing… So what does it truly mean to have NOTHING? Do they mean they have no purpose? Maybe they are just searching for a purpose and that’s what landed them on the streets and it wasn’t drugs/alcohol. If so, sign me up! I’m still unsure on a lot of days and I do not have narcotic problems, maybe I need to live on the streets. Does that mean that I have nothing? Fuck I don’t know.

 

Which brings me to my next point. We have touched on this in previous posts (The White Picket Fence). We all feel the need to buy materialistic goods to make us feel good. Now I understand that every now and then that doing so is okay to gradually just have nice things to have a nice place to come home to, but I feel living like a minimalist is the way to go. What point do you have to prove to people? “Look at all my shit!” Oh man, you’re so cool!! No, no you’re not, you’re an idiot who could have went somewhere and did something or gave some money to someone who could have used that money to go somewhere to really find themselves and their niche in this world, but instead you had to buy a worthless thing that you have no use for. Now your place is more crowded and feels less home-like because you’re a fucking imbecile. Moving right along…

 

The art of moving on with life. This can be taken in so many ways; it makes me even crazier than I already am. It applies to relationships, jobs, money, belongings, pets, vehicles, etc., etc., etc. all the way down the list of life’s shit. If you need to cut ties with something to be truly happy for either party, do the right thing and just end it already. Believe me, it’s harder said than done sometimes and I need practice myself with this. However, at least I am working on it. I see people day in and day out that are so miserable in life because they put up with the same SHIT that they despise. Cut your losses, cut your ties, set yourself free. Even if you are setting the other party free, you will feel better too (yes, it will hurt for a hot minute, but in the long run, it will feel even better).

 

That leads me to this, which I have brought up numerous times but it’s because it is something that I struggle with all the time. What is the point of relationships (especially at a young age)? Is it for companionship? Get a fucking dog, at least they are happy to see you. Is it to get your jollies off? Jerk it and twerk it, get social and find a one nighter because there is always someone who wants the same thing. Repopulate? Okay, there you have me pinned. Then get in a relationship… Maybe. People, and a lot of people at that, do it as single parents all the time. Adopt, or surrogate, or get creative and find a way (within the law of course). I just don’t understand the point of being in a relationship. Maybe I haven’t found my one and locked her in, shit I don’t know. Maybe I have found her and lost her, again, I do not know. The one thing I DO know, I am very done with relationships longer than like a week. They cause too much stress, too much crap, it’s too much work, too much money, way too much drama that I just do not want or need. I just don’t get the point.

 

Anyway, I’ll call that good for the week, even though this week has been crazy as balls. That last part got me a little ramped up though (that’s when you know you’re crazy, your own writing gets you ramped even though you think about it all the time). So, instead of turning Manic Monday into Why Relationships Should Die, I’ll just go drink some more coffee and leave you with this (if I were to recommend a coffee by the way, go with Gevalia Espresso Roast- Black, because black is better, if you need all the creamer and shit, why do you drink coffee, drink a red bull or something, seriously. The point of coffee is to drink that shit black, coffee shouldn’t be sweet unless it’s like a treat from Starbucks, and that’s supposed to be a TREAT not like a daily thing.) Anyway, I’ll leave you with this; Carpe Diem Creando. It means “Sieze The Day By Creating”. Whether you take it as creating like creating a piece of art, creating as in writing, or simply creating a better life by getting a raise, promotion, new job, etc. just create. That is all. 

Relationship Pondering

I personally do not understand how two people can be married for years and years and years. Hell, I don’t understand how simple boyfriend/girlfriend relationships can last for years. When a couple is together for years, I have to say, “Wow, congratulations. You guys are able to put up with each other’s shit for a long time. “

I’m THAT guy: the guy that gets bored way too quickly, way too easily. I stay in relationships and get in them often and yet, I don’t like them. I’m not sure as to why I even get in them (maybe a sense of comfort of having someone), but I do and I always regret it because I am the pushover that it takes a while to get out of them when I am unhappy.

Anyway, the point I am getting to with this; how can people really settle down and take on the full time job on top of trying to live the life of their own? I understand, that you found someone that makes you really happy and you want to live your life with them, but is that really enough? There will always be arguments and shit storms in the air. If you were flying solo, there isn’t anything. It’s just you have to worry about and possibly friends or business partners that you include.

It might just be me, but I don’t understand the whole marriage aspect of life. I don’t get the point of marriage, and I am really starting to doubt the point of relationships as well. They bring companionship, but so does my dog. They bring sex, but so does my hand. They bring fun, but so does going on random dates every now and then without getting serious or even getting in any sort of relationship at all. Just leave it at one date so you are still social; feel and appear normal.

But hey, just the opinion of a bat-shit crazy guy, right?

This Is Life

I want to start this off with my own quote that I believe stands for life.

“Life is a big bootylicious bitch that grinds all over you until you peak an orgasm right before you have to get up and deliver the State of the Union Address.”

I think this stands for everyone in all walks of life. No matter where you are now, where you want to be, where you are going, how you plan on getting there… Unless you are handed EVERYTHING on a silver platter, you have to bust your ass to get what you want. And believe me, life throws shit at you. If you were in a zoo, you would be in the monkey cage, getting poo flung at you on the daily. Life doesn’t just hand you what you desire, you have to get off your ass and WORK. Blood, sweat and tears; laborious nights, early mornings and hellacious schedules without breaks are consumed in order to achieve anything in this life.

But if you want it, REALLY want it… YOU DO IT. You do it because that is ALL you want.

Right now, you are thinking of something, something that you REALLY want. What are you doing to achieve it? Are you doing enough?

Then again, is it ever enough? What IS enough?

When you finally get what you want, is it finally time to lie down and hit the snooze button? FUCK NO. No it is not.

You know what time it is? It’s time to raise the bar. It’s time to up the ante. Raise the stakes.  You already proved you could do it once, do it AGAIN. Except this time, DO IT BETTER, DO IT BIGGER.

DO IT BOLDER.

Why not?

Screw the naysayers; let them die miserable. Be the only you that there is and ever will be.

Don’t just seize the day, go through the window.

Indulging Your Inner Naughty

I firmly believe that everyone has a dark side. Nobody goes around spouting their search history on the internet and that is why I feel that I can write about what I want to and push what’s “normal” or “okay” in the eyes of society. It is a very common joke that goes around and even meme creators have thousands of panels gone viral about “Deleting Search History”, yet it is okay for people to laugh at that but I can’t post a blog about masturbation and how it relates to loving yourself?

 

Like I said, everyone has a dark side. That is why I believe I can post these things and people will be attracted to my blog. You don’t have to go around spouting how you read up on masturbating and how it really just means you just love yourself.

 

Just indulge your inner naughty personality, laugh, learn, and go about your day. Come back the next day and do it all over again. No, I’m not only going to write “bad” things, just don’t be surprised when you log on and I’m talking about something that’s outside of the “social norm”.

The Never Ending Love Story

Friends and lovers come and go in life, that’s an early lesson for everyone. Trust builds up and falls like hot air balloons; romance is a flame burning on the wick of the worlds’ shortest candle; lust is just a bitch. I mean, yes it is this great feeling that makes your heart pound for a while, but it is also why creepers stare into bathroom and bedroom windows late at night and watch people shower and have sex; it’s adrenaline and the thrill of the chase without the actual chase. Quite frankly though, I think those adrenaline junkies have the right mentality. No, not being a peeping Tom, that shit is wrong. Stop it you dirty pervert. I am merely talking about…

Masturbation.

YOUR HAND WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR HURT YOUR FEELINGS!

What more could you ask from a relationship? I trust myself! I know what I like, why not let myself do what I like and move on with life? I can literally do my thing (pun intended), clean up, and move on with my day drama free. No one to answer to, and I can do it again later without having to try and set a mood and shit. I can spend the whole day doing it if I so please. I can wait as long as I want so it all accumulates to one big bang and a whole body quiver. I can choose the porn method or go old school and use my imagination and see where that takes me.

The only way you would ever not be able to masturbate is if you lived way back when and you were to steal some stuff and they cut your hands off. And I am sure, for those people who were born without arms (I didn’t forget about you), YOU WOULD STILL FIND A WAY TO DO IT!

Last week I wrote about marriage and how you shouldn’t do it. Do you see a trend in the making? I do; Love yourself.