Learn To Laugh

Let me tell you something world, you all suck! You need to learn to loosen up a little bit. Is it just a worldwide epidemic of stringing up your ties too tight in the morning or what? Get your panties out of a wad and learn to laugh at yourselves! It’s all fun and games when you can laugh at someone else’s expense, but “damn all the world” if someone starts to laugh at you. You cross your arms and turn red in the face like an albino sunbathing.

 

Did your parents neglect all of you? Shelter you from fun and games when you were little? Did you always succeed and never have a failure once? “Jump on that bike son and if you fail, demons will come out from under your bed at night and they will murder you SO DON’T YOU FALL, DON’T EVER FALL!”

 

What happened to putting yourself out there? Good jokes and good things come from people failing and knowing you can laugh at it. Nowadays, people run and hide because there is always someone videotaping their fail and they become the next YouTube hit. Then no one ever hears from them again because they are ashamed. WHO CARES?! If someone is actually going to laugh at you, laugh with them! Show them you don’t care and you make them look like the fool. Now that’s fun, that’s a good story to go home and tell your perfect little family.

 

“Yeah I screwed up, but when I laughed at my mistake, they looked like the moron.”

 

Hmmmm, sounds like a life lesson is coming through right here. In all actuality, there is. Since when did we start REALLY caring what people thought of us? Since when did we start living to please everyone but ourselves? Since when did we start living so everyone but US is happy? Here’s an idea, smile like an idiot! What’s the worst-case scenario?

 

“People laughed at me today…”

 

Boo freakin’ hoo you big baby, pick yourself up and get over it. Laugh like a moron with them until they shut up about it (because they will a whole lot sooner if you do) and move on!

 

“But that will ruin my image and my reputation that I spent so long building up and gained a lot of respect for.”

 

Yeah… OR IT WILL GAIN MORE YOU INCESSANT ASS! People will realize you are a damn human being that makes mistakes and have the emotions to realize such and laugh about it! It’s not that damn hard to suck up your pride. After you do, life will smack you so hard with respect and comfort knowing that you are REAL, people will actually enjoy being around you more and life will reward you.

 

To sum it all up, stop being a douche, plain and simple.

Uh-Duh?

I know I am not alone when I say I have dated someone who is just flat out dumb. That’s not me being conceited or anything of the sort, it’s just a hard fact. I can not be the only person who has woke up next to some one and had to ask, “How do you remember how to breathe?”

 

Oh yeah, don’t worry, I am actually going somewhere with this.

 

It’s the little things that add up to make me believe this. Between the little things and all of the big things, I sit back and ponder, “How has natural selection not weeded you out of the population yet?” Like, did Darwin’s theory die years ago and scientists just not tell the general public about it? How the hell are you still functioning and remembering that you have to eat and drink fluids to live, yet you cant remember to put you car in park to take the keys out of the ignition? How do you still exist when you ask the stupidest questions that even a six-year-old shoots you the look of “WTF” is wrong with you?

 

Then I start pondering where my life went wrong, what is so wrong with me that I decided you were the one I wanted to be with. I feel like I have to remind you to loop, swoop, and pull when I’m watching you put your shoes on and I start having flashbacks of everything slightly bad that I have ever done thinking MAYBE you are the best I am ever going to do because I didn’t help that old lady out to her car years ago when I was 19.

 

Yes, you may have a great personality, but you are just… how do I say this… DUMB AS HELL. Ditzy. Stupid. You don’t think about shit.

 

Anyway, I said I was going somewhere with this and I actually am believe it or not.

 

This is another thing that is constantly going on in society that I am sick and fucking tired of. People (not only females in specific, just from my own research and polls it’s PREDOMINANTLY females but I do encourage you to prove me wrong) think it’s fucking cute to be stupid. HOW THE HELL IS THAT SHIT CUTE?! It’s annoying. Unless you are two dumbasses together, it’s NOT cute, it’s NOT adorable, it’s NOT attractive, it’s NOT something we want you to fucking laugh about after you say something dumb as shit. We want you to have an IQ above “DUH”!

 

“Oh shit dude, you’re girlfriend’s drooling again.”

 

“Hey Julia, your boyfriend is going cross eyed and trying to lick his foot again.”

 

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS ATTRACTIVE?!

 

After you say something that is totally dumb, stupid, idiotic, whatever you want to call it, STOP LAUGHING ABOUT IT!! Being a complete moron is not a turn on!! Intelligence and the ability to hold yourself as a composed human being, THAT is attractive. Those are qualities people want in relationships.